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I completely agree with Bridge the Gap! I too have these fears and lack of confidence and I’m nearly 40! I was raised by a nervous Nellie but was always given the opportunity to try….I just wasn’t supported in the trying. Let’s all lift up one another to be the best we can be!
We do need to bridge the gap. However, we need to bridge the gap on many levels other than simply gender issues. We have a huge race gap, an undeniable economic gap, and even a religious/spiritual gap. Yet we can make a difference with our daughters and our sons under our own roofs.
I was raised in a tradional father employed and a stay at home mother household. Yet it was anything but traditional. My parents believed in education, and most strongly, in single sex educations. And it was in this house and in those schools where I was taught to be my own person with my own voice.
Not surprising, my daughter was raised to believe in herself, and she proves that daily as she navigates her life. She believes in her ability to contribute to the well being of her own life, as well as that of others. She is her own person with an articulate voice.
I teach in an economically disadvantaged elementary school. Each day I note that at fourth grade my girls are still as strong a voice as my boys, oftentimes, stronger. Yet it befuddles me that these very same girls participate very little in any individual or team sports. Why do you think that is?
I have many goals for this school year and one is to create or make available some athletic program for the girls. A team, or individual sport wherein my girls could explore another avenue of learning, especially about themselves.
The new Common Core demands rigor and critical thinking of our students. I believe that our girls have every bit of what it takes to implement and display the strengths they own, given the opportunities.
I was raised in a largely gender-neutral, rational household. I used to protect and look after my older brother and was never discouraged from doing that. At the same time, my parents encouraged me to do anything I was interested in – the moment I said, “That sound interesting”, they would either sign me up for a class or show me how I could look it up and learn it on my own. It saturated my approach to life, and why I was able to just go do anything. I always thought, “If anyone else can do it, why not me?”
That being said, I still grapple with that thing in my head that tells me I’m a fraud, that I’m faking it until I make it, that I might not know what I need to know. It was a relief to find out that most men also have these thoughts. Perhaps every human being does. In the end, the choice was always just whether to take a leap or not, and to not fear failure as a possible outcome.
The gap is, I believe, not so much related to having these thoughts but about our trained and innate responses to them. We can all help girls and women by encouraging them to take risks and to embrace failure as a learning activity. I try to do this every time the opportunity arises.
I’m not sure we know what makes strong women. My mother made me a strong confident woman by constantly criticizing me; nothing I did was good enough. Her mother did the same to her, and it made her the strongest woman I know. I think the current phase in childrearing (remember the Meet the Parents movie where the 9th place ribbon was proudly displayed?) need some rethinking. What made Donia S., Ruth G., Elena K., and Hillary R.C. so strong?
Thank you! Right on! This is a frequent topic among my peers. We have decades upon decades and generations upon generations telling us the correct way to behave as girls, then teenage girls, then women. Much of it is dead wrong! Speak up, don’t apologize unless there is something to apologize for, take a chance, use your knowledge, your strength, your courage. It’s there. It ALWAYS has been!
I completely agree with the sentiments expressed in Bridge the Gap; we need to encourage the confidence to fail and get back up again in our girls. I received this inspiring message as an email from Title Nine, with two links: one to “Share Your Thoughts” and one for “Shop New Fall.” Please don’t conflate confidence with shopping for clothes. I realize you’re a corporation, but it really cheapens your message to girls and women to say, “Be Confident, Shop New Fall.”
What an amazing challenge! Let’s change that negative talk that eats at our esteem and buries us with feelings of inadequacy. Say to ourselves… “Yes! I MATTER!”
DO NOT listen to those who bring you down! There will always be those do not understand why you do what you do and question your motivation. Choose not to listen to them choose to listen to your heart, your inspiration, your inner child and get out there and do it!
The older you get, the more confident you become.
Yes! Lets do our best and forget the rest! I love this note – keep passing it on. I wish everyone could say “I have a voice, and what I think matters!!” at the top of their lungs every day until it resonates and gets us to our fullest, happiest, potential!