My definition of insanity…
1) Competitive team sports for kids under 10
2) Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome
3) Any diet with one ingredient
4) 24-hour “news”
5) Our tax code
6) “Gifted” children… How do they know?
7) Thin thighs in thirty days
8) High heels
What’s your definition of insanity?
Missy Park
Founder
“I, for one, think we may be better off teaching all kids to learn, to compete and to work within a community of people much like the ones they will no doubt have to learn, compete and work with as adults.”
That’s a great idea, Missy! We’ll pull our kids out of the programs and schools for gifted kids where they are FINALLY thriving and put them back in the environments that made them suicidal.
This third comment of yours has made it perfectly clear that you have no interest in hearing what people who have actually “been there” are trying to explain. Instead, you continue to use unsubstantiated and sweeping generalizations (can you share your sources for the “most researchers agree” comment?) to justify your shockingly uninformed opinions.
So glad to know this before I buy another product from T9.
I have to remember not to go on vacation when I post some potentially controversial thoughts. đ My hope when writing this post was to provoke some thoughtful discussion, and I’m happy to see that we have. I’ve enjoyed reading through the posts and have learned a lot.
On to some clarification…
When writing about giftedness, my emphasis was not so much on the label, but the question of “How do they know?” Most researchers agree that we are laughably bad at assessing giftedness, both academic and athletic, especially before middle school. Einstein was considered quite slow in second grade and Michael Jordan didn’t make his middle school basketball team.
There are, of course, children who are well outside the bell curve in the way and speed at which they learn. However, I have not seen too many examples of our educational institutions serving these kids well. This difficult task almost always falls to the parents.
So if we are not good at assessing giftedness and we are not good at teaching to giftedness, I am not sure what purpose the label serves. I, for one, think we may be better off teaching all kids to learn, to compete and to work within a community of people much like the ones they will no doubt have to learn, compete and work with as adults.
Schools have not handled “gifted” children well in the past and are getting worse, so we should just give up and not identify “gifted” children at all. Do I understand your recommendation correctly? I suppose one could interpret that recommendation as consistent with your statement that “[d]oing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome” is insanity. I, however, always interpreted that truism as a call to try a new approach to get a different outcome rather than to just stop trying. Doesn’t giving up lead to insanity?
I’m really disappointed that your comments get more and more insulting to gifted children and their parents.
Missy, you said: When writing about giftedness, my emphasis was not so much on the label, but the question of âHow do they know?â
I can answer only for my family: my first clue was my son teaching himself to read at the age of two-and-a-half by watching a video about the alphabet. It rapidly became obvious that there was something unusual about him. By the time he was in school he was so far ahead that he started third grade at age six. He has been tested and his IQ is above the 99.9th%ile.
He is now eight years old, and we are home schooling him so that he can work at whatever level he needs in various subjects (the school did not provide that). He is doing sixth grade grammar, sixth grade math, fourth grade writing, seventh grade reading, and eighth grade science. He accomplishes this easily with four hours of schoolwork a day. He also does taekwondo and piano. His current passion is cartooning and he has his own cartoon blog. He spends a lot of time reading graphic novels, playing video games and playing outside with the kids in the neighborhood.
If you saw him playing at the park and overheard me talking to a friend about giftedness, you would probably think to yourself… how does she know? Because he runs and plays and makes disgusting jokes like any other eight-year-old boy. You would not hear me talking about his academic abilities because mothers of profoundly gifted kids have learned the hard way that it’s not socially acceptable for us to talk about our kids’ accomplishments. People think we’re bragging. And maybe you’ll think that about this post, but remember: you asked.
Giftedness is real, and in many cases it’s obvious, not just to the parents, teachers, and psychologists, but to the gifted child himself. He knows that he is different without being told. If we as a community treat giftedness as a shameful secret that can’t be talked about in polite company, how do you think that makes kids like my son feel?
And ask yourself this: Why do we as a culture celebrate athletic ability at every level and yet those with academic talents are expected to humbly hide their accomplishments? Why is it okay for one parent to brag about her son hitting a home run in Little League, but it’s not okay for another parent to mention her daughter acing a math test? I hope that you will consider these questions seriously, and consider how your comments contribute to the culture of anti-intellectualism. Is that really your goal?
Missy, I’d also like to address the second part of your comment: So if we are not good at assessing giftedness and we are not good at teaching to giftedness, I am not sure what purpose the label serves.
For better or worse, we are stuck with the label “gifted”. It’s a euphemism which the media finds less objectionable than “high ability” or other descriptive terms because people dislike such overt comparisons. Being labeled “gifted” is not an award. Advocates for gifted kids need a label in order to talk about giftedness.
I think it’s a fallacy that we’re not good at assessing giftedness. We are not perfect, but we are actually quite good at it (and much better than when Einstein was in second grade.) Mostly, kids are not being assessed at all. That’s the major barrier to identification.
In terms of teaching to giftedness, there’s a lot of room for improvement in current teaching practices in most public schools. But the truth is that we do have research and information about best practices for teaching gifted students that are simply not being utilized.
In other words, we have the ability to assess giftedness, and we have the ability to teach gifted kids, but we are not doing it. This state of affairs is so frustrating to families! Unfortunately, when your kids are a tiny minority (2%), the majority is rarely motivated to provide services for them. That’s why so many parents of gifted kids have to become advocates, and why we are motivated to spend time discussing the topic on forums like this. Nobody else is speaking for our kids.
I am so disappointed by what strikes me as an incredibly insensitive and thoughtless clarification to your initial comment — coming, as it does, in response to some very gracious and thoughtful remarks from the people you so callously offended.
To suggest that any parent struggling to help a child who’s failing to thrive in a conventional school setting because their brain works differently than others — whether it be because of a learning disability, an attention disorder, or what the educational community has termed academic “giftedness” — is actually on a delusional ego trip is shameful.
Those of us out here attempting to find solutions for our suffering children would like nothing more than for them to head off to school every morning and fit right in. That’s true for my friend whose son has a serious learning disability, my friend whose son has a severe case of ADHD, and my friend whose son skipped two grades and was still sobbing through his homework and sliding into a clinical depression because he was so profoundly unchallenged.
For that third mom, and thousands of others like her, “giftedness” is not a label with which to feed her own ego, but an incredibly helpful diagnostic tool. It enables us to finally understand why our children are having such trouble and to pursue appropriate ways to help them.
How sad that the founder of a company named after an initiative intended to help ALL children reach their full potential is so dismissive of a group of kids attempting to do just that!
I’m so glad you like to stir things up–it does keep things interesting!
But I think you are gravely mistaken on this one. It does a tremendous disservice to children who require educational accommodations to say such placating generalizations as, “all children are special.” Of course! But that does not at all mean that there aren’t children with “non-average” intellectual abilities (ie typically the top 1% are considered gifted, and by definition, “all children CANNOT be top 1%). These children do, in fact, learn differently, and are every bit as much in need of academic accommodations as children in the bottom 1% with learning disabilities. Unfortunately, our school systems do not budget to help them out in the same way we budget to help needy students on the bottom, so it really does damage when people act dismissively about a very real issue.
It would be fantastic if you could just recognize your error and apologize. I think we all recognize that all children have potential to do amazing things, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t special needs for those who are academically gifted. They do exist.
I look forward to some sort of better clarification from you!
MissyPark, Of course all children are special I don’t dispute that at all. In a perfect world it would be wonderful to see each child reach their potential to the fullest. But to be realistic a child with the IQ of 100 (this is average) is not going to grow up to be a brain surgeon , or the researcher who cures cancer, thatâs going to be the child with the IQ in the 145 range..
All are our future, all have a place in society , but what you donât seem to understand is that todayâs school system is not helping our highest level kids to succeed, and comments like you made don’t help.
The schools have special classes for kids who are behind. They call it special needs, are you suggesting the schools do away with that label and program? And not help those kids? What about the kids with autism are you suggesting we donât label and help them either? So why not for those who are gifted? They have a right to learn on their ability level too. Some people assume because a child is “gifted” they don’t need help, or don’t need to learn more, that’s simply not true. So to clarify the â labelâ is to help the child reach their full potential, whatever that may be, not for the parents benefit.
While I agree that labeling children, and indeed people, seems unneccessary and often limiting, the question “how do they know?” is disingenuous when placed in a list of “my definition of insanity.” All children are precious gifts, indeed, and all have natural interests and talents that should be encouraged. But saying that all children are gifted is like saying that all children are championship athletes. Some may be, some may not.
What seems insane to me is alienating a good 2-3% of your client base. My “gifted” teen daughter was appalled to open the latest catalog and see this statement. We won’t shop at T9 again.
My definition of insanity? It’s how almost every pair of pants in your new spring catalog has some sort of cargo pocket right on the widest part of my hips and thighs, just waiting to make my rear end appear even larger…
> these labels seem to be more for the benefit of adults
> rather than children.
No, they aren’t, which is why you’re getting such heated responses. No one is “judging” one child over another by acknowledging that there are kids who learn math or reading or art or whatever really, really fast. Just like some kids run really, really fast. Are you judging Janie when you observe that Susie ran the 100 in 11 seconds flat? Of course not. Would you force Janie to wait at the finish line for Susie to catch up? Of course not.
But forcing children who taught themselves to read when they were three to put their fingers on the letter B when they’re six is forcing them to learn nothing while others catch up. Failing to allow very talented children to develop at their own paces is damaging (because they’re at risk of not learning how to face challenging work) and cruel. And, sorry to sound so brusque, but ignorant and judgmental statements like yours above just make things worse.
So, sorry, but I don’t think you’re trying to “stir things up and get people thinking.” Doing that requires a thoughtful informed statement. All I see here is the same old garbage repeated twice by someone who doesn’t appear to have carefully read anything that her readers have written.
Again, if you met a really gifted kid, you’d know it. Ten-year-old kids who study geometry and love it, five-year-olds who devour chapter books, and one-year-olds who sing a repertoire of songs and hit the notes. All without being forced or driven or anything but nurtured by their parents.
**Yikes! First off, my comment was never intended to be from Missy (that was a technical faux pas). Secondly, yowza! This is the last time I comment on Missy’s Musings (when she’s out of town). Next time it’s all hers to respond to.
Thereâs been a ton of responses to Missy’s âMy Definition of Insanityâ (from Title Nine’s most recent catalog).
An interesting and passionate discussion has begun. The statement âGiftedâ childrenâŠhow do they know? has been a hot button topic. We like to stir things up and get people thinking and discussing.
Hereâs a little clarification to fill in the blanks:
Putting labels on children, whether it is âgiftedâ or âchild prodigyâ seems unnecessary. Who is the judge of one childâs ability over another? All children are special and âgiftedâ in their own right. All children have unlimited potential to do amazing things and these labels seem to be more for the benefit of adults rather than children.
Insanity is alienating your gifted customers and their families.
Labels exist because we need to be able to talk about things that are real. Giftedness is real, and gifted kids have different needs academically, socially and emotionally. Saying “all kids are gifted” makes as much sense as saying “all kids are mentally retarded.” It just isn’t true. There are real differences in ability between people. They are measurable and observable.
When people deny that giftedness is real, gifted kids grow up feeling isolated. They may feel that they have to hide their abilities in order to fit in. Or they may never fit in. Go watch Good Will Hunting (again?) and remind yourself what that’s like.
That’s why you’re stirring so much passion with this flippant remark of yours! We are gifted women who were those isolated, lonely kids. I like this company for its inclusive spirit. Don’t make us feel like you don’t get “gifted”. It doesn’t make you look cool or tuned-in to your customer base.
Gifted is usually meant to mean advanced in a particular area. By definition, not every child cam be advanced. While every child has some unique gift to share with the world, it’s NOT the same as being advanced or “gifted.”
There is a dangerous trend in our public education system to treat all kids the same, and slow kids down who need more challenging work and allow everyone to take advanced classes, which become not as advanced because the kids cannot keep up with the material slow down the class. Your comment feeds into this popular notion that it’s ok, that everyone is gifted.
And, that’s what’s insane.
Jennifer McClelland- Your comments sound dated: dated like the fight to push through the Children with Disabilities Act (1975 and earlier) or even Title 9 in 1972. Just substitute disability or female for gifted, and it’s the same old, same old. I certainly hope this company listens to its customers better than you’re listening to the people on the front line who are advocating for their at-risk, often misunderstood children. And no, Missy Park, giftedness is not that difficult to assess. Understanding,and accepting that differences exist is difficult only for those people that are petrified that the identification of “the other” implies that they are the ones that are lacking something- be it academic talent, artistic talent, athletic talent, or even just plain compassion…
Not having a Title Nine retail store on the East Coast is insanity đ